For the past decade my life has very much been a “beautiful real mess.” Hence that became the title of this little blog created two years ago.
Life changes however and so does our perspective. I must say that I no longer look at my life as a “mess” instead I see it for what it really is, a journey.
No one comes away unscathed from life and especially not from their twenties. For some of us these years leave a lifelong imprint.
“Little home in the great big woods,” is not just a change of this blog’s name. It is fast becoming a change of perspective, thought and desire… one of the biggest changes of my life to date.
Becoming a single mother in my early twenties was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Before my sense of self had developed, I was suddenly in charge of developing a sense of self for another human being. Then there were two little human beings…and after my second child, I had all but kissed my sense of self good bye.
My professional life also started early and was born out of desperation more than a desire to do something I liked or loved. I lost myself a dozen times over while trying to learn life’s hard lessons about trust, money, discipline, sacrifice, relationships, passion and systems. The dynamics of the work place have probably shaped my sense of self more than anything else.
Money, health, time…these things consumed my thoughts and twenties.
I now know that I love to work and will always work, but I thrive on working for myself more than anyone else. My health and time have also become more important than money and I dream of the day when I feel more in control of both.
“Little home in the great big woods” is where I find myself now- physically, emotionally and even spiritually. I am more aware than ever of where I stand and where I have been. I am starting to feel at home in my own skin and I like it!
As life shifts and progresses…so has my desire to document these changes and experience them freely. I want to live large and yet small (simply), I want to develop more of the good that I know is inside of me… I very much want to polish, fine tune and improve upon this person that I am becoming…
I want to live in every moment and embrace the bad with the good. I want the people I love to sense this goodness and find joy in it. I want to find that clearing hidden in the midst of a deeply wooded forest. I hope that a decade from now I am a wiser, kinder, more generous and strong woman.
I hope that 2017 (and my 30th year!) launch us all into a deeper, richer and more meaningful perspective of the journey we have been given.